This week, I felt unmotivated in preparing a column. Only one person wrote me hate-mail this semester, and he is probably the only one that cares. At the same time, I am also preoccupied with many other important things, like watching "Gilmore Girls" and "The Ashlee Simpson Show." So I decided to be lazy and not write a column. Instead, I conducted a séance so that a superior writer will.
One dark night, I gathered my Voodoo magic gears and chanted "Rama Lama Fa Fa Fa!" Since the readers of The Daily Targum have the highest standards, I asked the spirits to summon the best Anglophone writer in history. I was expecting the ghost of William Shakespeare or Jane Austen. To my surprise, when the spectre appeared, he identified himself as George Orwell, of "1984" and "Animal Farm" fame. Stunned, I stuttered and asked him the first topic that came to my mind - the recent controversy surrounding the University's request that Grease Trucks owners cover up "offensive" sandwich names like "Fat Dyke" and "Fat Bitch."
I said, "George, I know you never had a Fat Bitch, which is a shame because it is absolutely delicious, but what do you think about this whole deal over its name? I read in the Targum the other day that a student thought this was all a bit silly, and said, 'They're just words, just something funny.' After all, the University seems to have more important things to worry about other than language. Is that how you feel?"
Orwell replied, "The decline of a language must ultimately have political and economic causes. It is not due simply to the bad influence of this or that individual writer. But an effect can become a cause, reinforcing the original cause and producing the same effect in an intensified form, and so on indefinitely. A man may take to drink because he feels himself to be a failure, and then fail all the more completely because he drinks. It is rather the same thing that is happening to the English language."
Puzzled, I questioned further, "That seems cryptic. What exactly do you mean?"
He answered, "One ought to recognize that the present political chaos is connected with the decay of language, and that one can probably bring about some improvement by starting at the verbal end."
I said, "So I guess you think 'bitch' and 'dyke' are not only bad words, but indicative of the chauvinist, homophobic atmosphere on my campus. Even so, I am not so sure what covering up the signs or forcing the owners to change the names will do. After all, these words just reflect people's thoughts."
Orwell retorted, "But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought. A bad usage can spread by tradition and imitation, even among people who should and do know better."
I think I am beginning to see his point. Nevertheless, I pressed on, "The problem is, though, most people do not seem to be offended by these names. The issue is only brought up by the small minority that is the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. I even read letters in the Targum's opinion page that these people are just 'truly ignorant and egotistical' for causing such a fuss!"
He snickered and then sternly spoke, "I said earlier that the decadence of our language is probably curable. Those who deny this would argue, if they produced an argument at all, that language merely reflects existing social conditions, and that we cannot influence its development by any direct tinkering with words and constructions. So as far as the general tone or spirit of a language goes, this may be true, but it is not true in detail. Silly words and expressions have often disappeared, not through any evolutionary process but owing to the conscious action of a minority."
"Hmm," I thought for a second, "Okay. But '1984' was about the government's abuse of censorship, and you obviously meant it to be a warning for future generations. So what do you think about people like The Medium's staff members who invoke the First Amendment to the defense of 'Fat Bitch?' Just as an example that someone raised, should gay people who hold hands be banned because someone might be offended? And I quote, 'Instead, those who are offended tolerate the offensive actions of others because they are mature enough to realize not everyone will act in ways that you like.' Does that seem like a good defense?"
Orwell responded, "The appropriate noises are coming out of his larynx, but his brain is not as involved as it would be if he were choosing his words for himself. If the speech he is making is one that he is accustomed to make over and over again, he may be almost unconscious of what he is saying, as one is when one utters the responses in church. And this reduced state of consciousness, if not indispensable, is at any rate favorable to political conformity."
"In our time, political speech and writing are largely the defense of the indefensible," he continued. "Thus, political language has to consist largely of euphemism, question-begging and sheer cloudy vagueness."
After making that incendiary comment, the ghost of George Orwell uttered "Peace out, yo!" and disappeared. And I am left with the transcription of some cryptic quotes and a possible libel lawsuit on my hand. Sigh. Perhaps the next time I will write the column myself rather than calling on some spirit.
(All Orwell quotes are from "Politics and the English Language" [1946]. The text can be found online or in his book "A Collection of Essays." I highly recommend reading the text in entirety, instead of watching "The Ashlee Simpson Show.")
Sam Liao is a Rutgers College senior majoring in philosophy. His column, "Intellectual? Property!" appears on alternating Mondays. He welcomes legal fund donations at samliao@eden.rutgers.edu.
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