Charles in Charge" is on Nick at Nite. Do you feel old yet? If not, keep reading. If you do, well, keep reading.
The point I'm making is that we're no longer the "in" generation. In the eyes of kids today, we're no longer just the "big kids," we're "older people." The stuff we grew up with is now considered "oldies but goodies." I've been using too many quotation marks. "Sorry."
Seriously, if you put on Nick at Nite these days, you'll find shows like "Cheers," "The Cosby Show," "Family Ties" and even "Coach"! Not only that, but some of the cartoons that we watched as kids are being brought back as remakes like "Thundercats," "He-Man" and "Transformers." Kids today are watching revamped versions of our old entertainment, and we can actually use the phrase, "back in my day..." That's just weird.
I've also been noticing how classic rock stations are playing music we would consider to be relatively current. Bands like U2, Bon Jovi, Guns 'N Roses and even Nirvana are being played on the same station as the Beatles, The Doors and Led Zeppelin. At first, I was really freaked out by this. But then I realized that with the exception of Nirvana, the rest of those bands from our time have been around for about 15 to 20 years. That really freaked me out.
When we originally enjoyed this stuff, today's kids weren't even born yet! "Welcome to the Jungle" was blasting on the radio before many of today's high school students were even thoughts in their parents' minds.
I can't help but think what will be considered classic of today's entertainment. Are bands like Stone Temple Pilots, Foo Fighters and Radiohead going to join the ranks of the all-time greats? Will "Seinfeld," "Friends" or "Everybody Loves Raymond" become new residents of TV Land? Will AMC be showing movies like "L.A. Confidential," "The Usual Suspects" and "Battlefield Earth"? Okay, not "Battlefield Earth," but you get the idea. I would mention significant literary works but kids today probably don't read based on the fact that our generation really doesn't either.
This being said, now I can address the important part of my column (or the part where I ran out of intelligent things to say and decide to go weird — you decide). What is considered classic 10 years from now will be what we consider great today. Therefore, we can totally screw over the next generation by pretending to like crap right now.
For instance, if you or your family is selected to help with Neilson ratings, keep the television on UPN the whole time and watch the real good stuff at a friend's house. Anyone who writes music reviews, cover nothing but John Tesh and David Hasselhoff's music, and give them nothing but kudos. And you movie critics out there, I expect to see two thumbs up for whatever Carrot Top crapfest comes out next. And the rest of you can rent any horrible movie you can find just so network heads see there's interest in them and they'll air them on television. I'll do my part by commenting right here how America has finally developed some decent taste. It'll be fun! Then 10 to 15 years from now we can see the fruits of our labors. Imagine when the kids of that generation want to escape whatever crap Z100 is playing, and they go for some classic rock. They'll be bombarded with hundreds of Andrew W.K. songs about partying, puking and partying while puking.
Kids who keep Nickelodeon on after 9 p.m. will be inundated with marathons of "Cedric the Entertainer Presents" and "Off Centre American Movie Classics" will show "The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course" and "Batman and Robin."
If we do all this, then the future of mass media will be tainted by today's rejects! We will get the last laugh as those younger than us suffer, not knowing what true quality is. Although if that happens, we would also be subjected to all that. And when we don't want to put up with the garbage that will be pop culture, we'll have to wade through the false classics we will have created, leaving us with nowhere to go. Oops, bad idea.
Ronn Blitzer is a Rutgers College junior majoring in journalism. His column, "Perfect Stranger," runs on alternate Wednesdays.
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