Get this - people in any income bracket can now "ball out" like a platinum-selling artist thanks to the ambassador of "grillz" (gold teeth for those who aren't familiar with rap's newest "innovation") himself, Paul Wall.
As if hip-hop didn't have enough to be criticized for nowadays, the Texas rapper and "grill" store owner (yes, there are actually stores where you can buy fake, gold teeth) recently came up with the most revolutionary marketing scheme to date: an affordable line of "grillz" called "Ballin' on a Budget," for those without deep pockets that want to shine like the stars.
At $50-75 per tooth, you too can appear illiterate and incompetent as you fumble over your every word. But don't worry - there's nothing like the satisfaction you'll get when you walk into a crowded room and "light it up like a disco ball."
This is just what we as Americans need. Why not spur a generation of Paul Wall and Nelly clones walking around with "iced-out" mouths? Isn't the ownership of something so brilliant and eye-catching supposed to represent how much money you can throw away on meaningless, inanimate objects? Regular folks got bills to pay, dammit. Aren't famous rappers the only ones who should be able to afford to look so ridiculous?
An inexpensive line of gold teeth reminds me of the utter foolishness of the influx of spinning hubcaps post-Three 6 Mafia's "Ridin' Spinners." You know exactly what I'm talking about. That same guy who pulled up next to you in a '94 Honda CRX with spinning hubcaps will probably blind you with his budget-friendly grill, even if it means he has to postpone his rent payment.
That type of sacrifice is just a small price to pay for one's idolatry of pop culture. Here's to bling, bling.
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