Gender roles continue to affect how we think about dating


Women challenged by stereotypes


While I don’t expect a guy to draw me like one of his French girls, if Jack can give up his spot on a floating door in the middle of a freezing cold ocean to save Rose, then a boy can just as easily ask me out on a date.

Nowadays, it is completely acceptable for any woman to make the first move. In fact, it is practically encouraged. We have made great strides throughout generations in establishing ourselves as independent and successful figures, all without the help of a man. 

So why bow down to these invisible rules that only males can be the ones to initiate any sort of interest? Well, it all comes down to a word that many people throw around rather loosely and that most women ultimately have a phobia of being labeled: psychotic. 

Approaching a man requires confidence and self-assurance, basically the independent woman that all females should strive to become. For a male figure, this seems to be associated with intimidation, cockiness and a fear of overstepping the gender boundaries set by society.

To show even the slightest bit of emotion toward another guy makes us “crazy” or “overemotional.” Not to mention the familiar, and always feared, idea of rejection. It seems that when a girl does muster the courage to make even a slight move where the feeling isn’t reciprocated, guys like to blow it out of proportion in an effort to boost their egos.

They find the need to alert all of their friends that a stage-five clinger is running rampant in their house. We, as women, become partially blacklisted and, at other times, humiliated. 

We have also somehow convinced those amongst us that commitment is the equivalent to selling your soul to the devil. Commitment phobia has never been so real, and a guy’s perspective on being tied down can be summed up in one phrase: “Why limit myself to one girl when I can easily have many?” 

It’s officially cool to be that girl who doesn’t care that the guy she’s been hanging out with leaves the party with someone else. Masking your feelings has somehow become the way to win over a guy. Texting, calling or Snap Chatting them first apparently represents a clear cut sign that you were for some reason thinking about him, when he wasn’t at all thinking about you in return. 

Guys thrive on claiming that girls are these over-analytical human beings who calculate each and every step of a male without realizing they, in return, do exactly same. Who knew that a simple hello from a woman meant their underlying goals were to marry the guy and birth his children?

You can say I’m being dramatic or thinking too far in-depth about a topic that we have already overcome years ago, but as long as men continue to use terms such as “psycho” to describe the women who express romantic interest in them, then they can continue to complain about always having to make the first move. 

Brenda Stolyar is a School of Arts and Sciences junior majoring in journalism and media studies. She is the Features Editor of The Daily Targum.


Brenda Stolyar

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