Is it love or is it lust? How do we differentiate it? Find out right now
Valentine’s Day is approaching, and mixed feelings are running through the minds of all individuals, in and out of relationships. Valentine’s Day is a holiday celebrating the unconditional, mutual agreement between two consenting partners we as humans like to call love.
This begs to ask the question of what love really is, and what would constitute its legitimacy. Historically speaking, throughout most of Western culture, the most popular definition of love comes from one of the most debated books of all time, the Bible.
In 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8, love is defined as, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
This sounds romantic and fulfilling, but is it really practical in the age of dating through Tinder, Grindr and all the other lust-fueled dating sites? The question is, how do people fit into this romanticized definition of love?
Lust has truly made it’s mark in the modern day dating scene with sex becoming progressively more casual among millennials. It has led to a negative stigma associated with our dating scene, especially while we are in college with a reputation of ill-committed partners, decreased transparency and overall more dishonesty than most have received from potential partners in the past.
Matt Rackett, a School of Arts and Sciences junior, believes social media-supported dating is what is causing this misunderstanding on love and commitment.
“It’s all really just an over-emphasis on lust and it causes the whole stigma," Rackett said. “Social media is causing false expectancy in relationships, and is corrupting our ideals of what love is."
Now, does the issue fall within our biological imperative to have sex, coupled with having the resources to make it happen with no strings attached? Or, is it our perception of what human attraction and relationships ought to be based on?
Georgeanne Casper, a School of the Arts and Sciences first-year, has a traditional view on love.
“In order to have a healthy relationship, patience and unconditionally caring about your significant other are of the utmost importance,” Casper said. “In order to cope with the issues both partners will face as individuals or as a couple, recognizing that lust is just one aspect of the relationship is the only way that is going to happen.”
Lust has consumed the modern dating age, which has caused tremendous amounts of jealousy and confusion within relationships. As young adults, we need to responsibly recognize these feelings of confusion and distrust, and communicate them to our partners.