July 21, 2019 | 83° F

Don’t let long-distance relationships be difficult


The heart wants what the heart wants, no matter what the distance is. Everyone knows the hookup culture in college is a real thing, just walk down College Avenue during “daging” season — but what about those high school sweet hearts that stayed together after graduation?

Yes, some college kids are ignoring the calls of the wild, as in random hookups or merely shacking up with someone. Some couples are truly going the distance though, and while that may seem unappealing for some, for others it is just a means of building up the excitement for their next rendezvous.

That doesn’t mean it's all sunshine and rainbows though. Longing plays a huge role in these types of relationships — missing them is a daily reoccurrence, and wanting to be by their side is the strongest motivator for getting through the days.

Kait Mercedes, a School of Arts and Sciences fifth-year student, talked a bit about what it is like going through a long-distance relationship, and to top it all off, being engaged.

“Being in a cross-country relationship is difficult for me — you can’t help but count down the days and miles that distance you from one another — but that feeling of missing someone, you can't let that define the relationship," Mercedes said. "I take it day by day, crossing time off in the back of my notebook, focusing on goals and hobbies, but even with my fiancé living in Oregon, we still do things together — we bet each other a lot, keeps the other on their toes and to look forward to each other more.”

Looking at these positive motivators, as Mercedes suggests, with performing hobbies and completing goals you set for yourself truly can help make the days seem smaller and the GPA larger. These types of motivators in life make you — well you and your partner — just the cherry on top of your awe-inspiring sundae.

Some days it may be too hard to focus on those motivators in life — so you go through the motions, counting the days and doing the best you can while missing that special someone.

Victoria Sharpe, a School of Arts and Sciences sophomore, discussed what it is like for her when those down days become a bit too much to handle.

“It becomes really hard some days, I know it sounds stereotypical and love sick, but I really just want to be by their side all the time, and tell them about my day and vice versa — in person and not over text or phone," Sharpe said. "It feels like we live in such a digital age that people would be more satisfied in long-distance relationships in ways where we can stay in contact much more than in the past, but it just isn’t the same — you miss them the same amount and it doesn’t provide the same substance that seeing and holding them in person does.”

This is actually a very common annoyance in long-distance relationships. Technology nowadays just doesn’t cut it — it doesn’t substitute for actual physical presence of those you love. For some couples it causes problems, communication problems in particular.

Sometimes women, or men, get antsy when they don’t receive that loving text from their significant other. This could lead to over-texting or ignoring of the other, which results in fights.

While some may say that adds to the passion of the relationship, I disagree. Being in a relationship, long-distance or short-distance, communication is always key. For the love of God stop — just stop over-texting — take it from someone with personal experience in that department.

While you count down the days to seeing that love one you long to hold, cool that hot head of yours and count your blessings that you have someone who wants to hear your voice and see you just as much as you want to see them. Enjoy the little things in the relationship, and remember that distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Laura Dengrove

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