SINKIEWICZ: EMV chips are more stressful than helpful
Opinions Column: People And ...
The 2016 election is upon us, folks. But I don’t think I’m going to indulge everyone by discussing it in my op-ed this week. Yes, I could easily spend hours upon hours making jibes at both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton (it’s not that hard, to be honest) while simultaneously complaining about how upset I am that Bernie didn’t get the nomination, but I won’t.
I won’t because frankly, we’ve heard enough of this election, I won’t change your mind and my articles tend to strive for a comedic effect more so than real discussion. I know, sue me (haha, Donald Trump joke).
Instead, I am going to discuss something that may be even more irritating than spectating this election and that is the EMV or “chip” credit card. I recently received my EMV card at the start of the school year. It wasn’t my choice, but every other card was going to be discontinued by my bank at a certain date, so I was coerced into modernizing. I’m not the kind of person who pursues modern things with zeal. Do I want the latest technology? Sure. But I also want to expand my extensive CD collection of 80s rock music. Call me old fashioned, call me a “dad-music” lover, but don’t call me late for dinner.
Regardless, my first emotion was hesitation, but this quickly turned into disappointment. Yes, the EMV chip is designed to enhance security, but the problem is that it seldom works. In this I don’t mean the protection protocol, but that the chips themselves aren’t generally accepted at stores. I cannot over-exaggerate the amount of times I’ve walked into a general store and was about to finish my purchase when I see that sticker on the swiper that says “no chip.” In fact, I’ve gotten so used to relying on there being no chip, that I’ve incidentally swiped when the chip was accepted.This right here is a problem in the convenience system. At what point do we realize that we aren’t using the credit or debit card but that it is using us? I’ve see no political candidate address this issue. Why? Maybe it’s a conspiracy.
Clinton, Trump and their aides all use cards with chips on them so they’ve all experienced the type of emotional stress it can cause, but even they are powerless to control this bastardization of the American credit system. Even more problematic is the future of cards. The chip appears to only be the beginning. It is what Blu-Ray was to DVDs— an unnecessary replacement that might one day overcome the original. It doesn’t sound too bad right? Or does it? Blu-Ray promised a better picture, but could only be used in certain video players. This is analogous to the chip system. The only chip I truly trust is a Nacho Cheese Dorito, but even then, I’m a skeptic. We need to band together against the chip system, especially since it is being forced upon us. I propose a solution known as the triangle. The triangle will be a small triangular insert that will be accepted by swipe machines in stores, restaurants, etc. It will strike a balance with computational technology and feasibility. It’s also in the shape of a literal chip and may be the shape of the Illuminati eye — oh wait, that’s right, it is!
The chip is meant to be a metaphorical provision for the Illuminati who seek to control and capitalize on consumer frustration. This frustration then manifests itself and allows corporations to control the minds of credit and debit card users through the banks which, as we all know, are controlled by none other than the Rothschild family. The revolution and change is only going to happen if we revert back to cash, which likely isn't possible, since you will be withdrawing from an ATM most of the time which requires the use of a card. We as Americans have truly been defeated. The chip isn’t just a “security measure,” it's an instrument used to manipulate the American marketplace and there is nothing we can do about it. I don’t really believe any of this, but that doesn’t change the fact that the chip is an annoying and almost useless device. Oh, also, please go out and vote on Tuesday.
Zachary Sinkiewicz is a School of Arts and Sciences senior majoring in English and history with a minor in political science. His column, "People and ..." runs on alternate Mondays.
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