Mary Ellen Cagnassola is a diminutive curmudgeon hailing from Scotch Plains-Fanwood, New Jersey. A lifelong writer, she began contributing to publications at the tender age of 14 while also maintaining a full-time position as a disgruntled nightmare. Now a Rutgers sophomore and the Copy Editor of The Daily Targum, she enjoys making inappropriate jokes and harassing her coworkers, particularly Marielle Sumergido. Cagnassola is the proud owner of an anxious dog, a temperamental rabbit and a bouncing baby hedgehog, making her what some would call an “animal hoarder.” It should be noted that she loves her mommy, daddy and sister ever so much. When Cagnassola isn’t f---ing up Pinterest projects, you can find her mellowing out to her extensive vinyl record collection and reading old Life magazines to satisfy her nostalgia. Sometimes she writes things that you can read, and that usually attempt to challenge sexual stigmas with snarky rhetoric. Lastly, she would like to thank her agent, her fans and Dionysus for making this night possible.
“It’s really vain to quote yourself.”