Food is your best friend, helps you in times of need
Opinions Column: The Scarlet Trotter
Last week, I had a bit of a rough time. My midterms hadn't gone quite as planned, job applications were really starting to pile up and a dress I had been waiting to be delivered for months, didn't fit me right. So last Friday, as I was walking home from my class — and away from the worst week I've had in months — I knew things were going bad, and I just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. So I had to do the most logical thing I could think of doing — I ordered Hansel.
I picked up the phone, dialed 3 (Do you even go here if you don't have Hansel on speed dial?) and placed the usual order, which, might I add, the people working there know as soon as they pick up (It's like "Cheers," except everyone knows your favorite food). Soon enough, there it was, on my doorstep waiting for me like a stork had just delivered it from the heavens — or you know, Easton. After just one bite of that sweet steak crisp with hot sauce, and a sip of the most decadent banana flip smoothie you will ever have — it hit me. Food is the bestest friend you could ever ask for.
So I know that sounds incredibly sad and pathetic, but hear me out — am I really wrong? Think about it. It's the end of a long, long Monday. You're exhausted and borderline depressed about the fact that it is only the beginning of the week. But then, out of the corner of your eye, you spot that small beautiful little blue box — Easy Mac. Suddenly your emotions of despair and restlessness disappear as they are replaced by sensations of hunger, joy and truly speaking, love.
Or how about for those times that you just can't find a reason to smile? The Mets just lost the big game (sorry if this is too soon Mets fans, my heart goes out to you), you just completely failed your midterms or you just had an awful run-in with your ex — basically, everything is not "lit." But then, suddenly your roommate says the magic words: "Yo do you guys want to order in pizza?" The light suddenly shines down from between the clouds, and you hear a faint voice in the wind saying, "Get the extra cheese, you deserve it." Do you ever say no to food? No. Does it ever feel right to say no to food? No. Was that bucket of 50 barbecue wings worth it? Yes. One thousand times yes.
Food will never let you down, my friends. Food will be there for you through the thick and thin (crust). If they ever rethought the show "Friends," it would be a bunch of sandwiches hanging around in Central Perk talking about how much they all loved each other (Joey had it right all along). Food will never leave you alone. When you're at home alone, with nothing to do and no one to call, that Chinese food menu is your life line. When you're on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" and you get a phone a friend? I'm going to take that "phone a friend" and you know who I'm going to call? Yeah, that's right, Sanctuary. I will call Sanctuary because that chicken quesadilla with extra sour cream will be there for me no matter what — without fail — every time I need it, just the way I want it.
Of course, people can be really great too. You've got your best friends, your family and significant others. You'll always have someone to care about you no matter how alone you might think you are. This time of the year can be pretty crazy with all the pressures of school building up. I feel like I've been in a constant swarm of exams that won't end until winter break, so of course everyone needs to take a break every now and then. That's an even greater thing about food: It can be shared. So share a slice of pizza with a friend and let them know you love them. Have a burger and fries with your loved one and express how amazing they are. Keep your dorm doors open and invite your floor mates in for a pig-out sesh, and if you're really feeling generous, don't hesitate to send over some Hansel to the Targum for yours truly. The fact of the matter is, food is amazing — and I know I don't have to reconfirm this, because I know you feel just as strongly on the topic. But I thought I would just give voice to the voiceless and let you know that food loves you too. I think I'm going to order in something now, just to show my appreciation more. Love y'all. Have a great weekend and a very Happy Halloween!
Biya Haq is a School of Arts and Sciences senior majoring in journalism and media studies with a minor in digital communication, information and media. Her column, "The Scarlet Trotter," runs on alternate Fridays.
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