ESCHLEMAN: Stop invalidating mixed race kids
Column: Shower Thoughts
I remember sitting in my high school Spanish class, and my classmates asking me, “Why are you taking Spanish if you are Hispanic? You should be fluent.” And yes, I am Hispanic. My mother is an immigrant from Colombia and is bilingual. I did not grow up speaking Spanish.
My American-born father is not bilingual, and my mother did not want to exclude my father if we could speak Spanish without him. When I would tell people that I was not bilingual, I would get this puzzled look, like I was not truly Hispanic, like I did not fulfill their expectations of what a Hispanic person should be.
In class, I would fear sounding white or making a mistake. Because if I did, then I would not truly be a Hispanic person, right? I felt invalidated, and this is a problem.
Society perpetuates what Nigerian novelist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie calls “the single story.” Adichie defines “the single story” as when society “show(s) a people as one thing, as only one thing, over and over again, and that is what they become.”
Adichie provides multiple examples of Western culture presenting minorities as a single attribute, presenting Africans as helpless or Mexicans as dangerous immigrants. And, Adichie’s definition of a single story also applies to the invalidation of mixed identities.
I interviewed Peristera (Peri) Vikatos, a junior at Rutgers, who is half Korean and half Greek. Peri grew up going to Greek school, and said she “was always the one kid in class, who was something different," leading to exclusion and “terrible slurs and insults” for not being fully Greek.
Peri describes how this insensitivity is rooted in the fact that, “People have such a hard time handling any sort of nuance, whether it is with gender, whether it is sexuality, with race, ethnicity. Like, people always want to put you in a box, they always want one thing from you. When there is no room for gray area, there is no room for you to say that 'I am not just one thing, I can be multiple things, or identify with multiple cultures.'”
And Peri describes how this phenomenon “happens everywhere and it happens on both sides," those outside one’s culture and those within it, even though one may assume those within “know your background” and “accept you.”
I also interviewed Peri’s friend, Anastasia (Ana) Matano, a sophomore at Baruch College, who is half Japanese and half Serbian. Ana describes how on the white side of her family, she is “white first … and then Asian," but if she ever goes to Japan, it is as if people are telling her, “oh, you are not really Japanese," as if she is “pretending or parading as someone who is Japanese” when she is really Japanese.
Ana also talked about how she went to a very white, private middle school, and people would ask her, “Are you good at math? You are Japanese.”
This caused her to question her identity throughout high school and ask herself, “'Why am I not good at any of these things, like I should be?'” even though being Asian has nothing to do with one’s ability in math. But society makes a person think that they have to fit the stereotypes applied to their cultural group, or they do not belong.
A novel that dismantles stereotypes is "There There" by Tommy Orange. "There There" tells the stories of multiple Indigenous characters who live in Oakland, California. These characters do not live on reservations and many of them are mixed, with one Native parent and one non-Native parent.
The novel explores how each character connects to their Indigenous background and how the discrimination and violence imposed upon the Native community inevitably follow each generation.
"There There" is important because it illustrates how mixed people often must connect to their culture in ways that society does not highlight and how they are still affected by generational discrimination.
Peri and Ana both talked about how they feared for themselves and their families when hate crimes against Asians increased during the height of the coronavirus disease (COVID-19). Even if they identify as white-passing, their families do not. A parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, could have easily been threatened.
This made me think of my family members who have been mocked for their accents. It made me think of a boy who told me in sixth grade that my house must fall apart because I am so poor, and my family must be stupid since I am Colombian.
The reason why it is important to validate instead of question people’s identity is because people have enough self-doubt. Invalidation comes from those outside of one’s own group or family and those within it, but we must strive to make people feel accepted. Why is the instinct to invalidate instead of invite?
Generation Z is the most racially and ethnically diverse generation to date. It is important to know how to interact with diverse people, especially when our society will become more and more mixed. Choose empathy over stereotypes perpetuated by society and media. And if you have a mixed identity, you are valid. You belong.
Sara Eschleman is a Rutgers Business School first-year majoring in marketing and minoring in English. Her column, "Shower Thoughts," runs on alternate Thursdays.
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