Casper, global warming
In a recent poll done by the esteemed Pew Research Center for the People and the Press, only 45 percent of Americans surveyed believe that global warming exists. Do not blame the country bumpkin Republicans, because only 58 percent of Democrats believe global warming exists. At the same time, a Washington Times article showed 44 percent of Americans believe in ghosts, 36 percent say that UFOs are real and 31 percent believe in witches and astrology.
This is not a question of politics, but a question of individual responsibility. To quote the most underrated band of the 1970s, the Steve Miller Band, "You live in a world of illusion, where everything's peaches and cream, we all face the scarlet conclusion, but we spend our time in a dream." So while Casper and E.T. are out being best friends with Timmy and Susie, the bitter old widow across the street is brewing up a potion that deflates basketballs that land in her yard, and that girl who beat me up in high school is really my soul mate because Jupiter told me — so there is no chance of a phenomenon occurring that is supported by 84 percent of American climate scientists.
Even some of the 5 percent of American climate scientists, also known as the Earth Science department at "Bob Jones University," are part of the 97 percent of American climate scientists who believe the Earth is getting hotter. These statistics come from a survey by STATS — a non-profit, non-partisan research organization affiliated with George Mason University — from April 2008, in which 84 percent believed global warming was human-induced. Now, only 10 months later, CNN recently reported that 97 percent of climatologists believe humans are the cause.
These Americans who refuse to believe in their participation in global climate change are the same Americans who believe their second mortgage wasn't a factor in creating our current economic crisis. These are the same Americans who decided who they wanted as their commander-in-chief while waiting in line for their Chai latte on Nov. 4. These are the same Americans who think they're going to live until age 115 because they drink their pomegranate, blueberry and Acai smoothies every morning.
It is time for Americans to stop believing in miracles, to stop believing in the quick fix. Ghosts are not real — they are the creation of man's dreams. Global climate change is the creation of man's mistakes. If Americans' scrutiny leads them to believe a supernatural concept of man's dreams to be as likely as the reality of one of their own natural mistakes, humanity as a whole will soon face the scar of conclusion.