Is perfectionism taking over your life? Here are some ways to manage it

Perfectionism is a hard practice to break. On the surface, being a perfectionist seems like a good thing: They are often praised for their attention to detail, organization and/or work ethic.

But while that behavior may have distinguished them when they were younger, trying to be a perfectionist in college or in your career will suck the life out of you.

Perfectionism is often a double-edged sword: It's something that can motivate you to deliver top-quality work or something that will slow you down in the long term.

Perfectionists are more likely to set inflexible high standards and tie their self-worth to their work. And while they may have higher levels of motivation and conscientiousness than non-perfectionists, they also have higher levels of stress, burnout and anxiety.  

If you're a chronic perfectionist, managing the pressure you put on yourself can be difficult. Here are some ways to help with that:

Get started on something as soon as you can

The manifestation of perfectionism doesn’t have to look like spending hours on a single homework assignment. It could also look like procrastination. If you don’t start an assignment until the last minute, that tendency could arise from an internal fear of pouring too much time and effort into something.

Unknowingly, limiting the time that you have to take an assignment (even if the project was given in advance) functions as a way to guarantee perfection in the limited window you created for yourself. To avoid this, try starting without the deadline looming over you. 

Create realistic goals

I'm not saying that you should forget about your big dreams and hopes. But, setting unrealistic goals is a disservice to yourself. When you inevitably fall short of goals that were uninformed of your needs, you waste time and energy putting yourself down. 

Practice saying no to things. The time you eat, sleep, bathe and rest is not for you to portion away to school, extracurricular activities or work, as stated so eloquently in YouTuber bestdressed’s “what i wish i'd known about college … ” video.

Although hustle culture glamorizes work exhaustion, no one should be bragging about how little they take care of themselves.

Take charge of your deadlines 

Instead of working up until the last minute to get something done, set a deadline for yourself and then move on. I’m serious. Draw a line in the sand for the time that you choose to spend on school and the time that you spend just being a person.

Have a reason to only work on that assignment for an hour or 2 that day. Maybe you could hang out with a friend, watch a movie with your sibling or take yourself out on a date. Work-life balance is about more than getting good grades and focusing on your health — it’s about valuing all of the things that make you happy.

Stop multitasking

Multitasking, a work practice centered around doing multiple tasks at once, is different from switching frequently between tasks. The former is an ineffective way of getting things done, while the latter can be of use to people with shorter attention spans. 

Multitasking decreases efficiency and wastes energy. Regardless of how you spend your time, spend it intentionally. Schedule out the time you want to spend working and have dedicated time for relaxation. Trying to do both at the same time (like watching your favorite show while writing an essay), may make you feel caught in an endless cycle of work without a proper break.

Work toward achieving self-acceptance

Radical self-acceptance is a wonderful mindset that helps to distance our deliverables from ourselves. Perfectionists tend to be harsh toward others and highly critical of themselves. By being a little kinder to yourself and prioritizing self-care, you’ll be able to stop obsessing about an assignment that’s worth 1 percent of your grade.

Taking the time to build self-confidence and become mentally strong means that you’ll be able to respond more quickly to crises or rejection. You're not your grades, your assessments or your job. You have so much more to offer this world than what can be expressed on a resume. Don’t forget that.

I used to be proud of being a workaholic. I would take meals at my desk and skip workouts to spend more time on schoolwork. But now, I value my time more and only invest my energy into things that are worth my time.

You don’t stop being a perfectionist overnight, but that’s kind of the point. It’d be counterproductive to become a perfect non-perfectionist.