September 26, 2018 | ° F

Five tips for mastering 'Neko Atsume'


catgame


You downloaded Neko Atsume in a moment of boredom during a lengthy bathroom break. Now, this is your life — catering to virtual cats. Despite your friends and family insisting you have a serious problem, you know you can stop at any time you want. But before you delete the app, you need to collect all of the game’s rare cats. This, and only this, will allow you to fill the void in your heart that was created when your childhood cat, Mittens, ran away while you were at camp.

So, here are five tips to help you in the wild world of "Neko Atsume."

1. Don’t use your actual money to buy virtual money

You have the option of purchasing gold fish with your actual money, which would allow you to buy “goodies” for your cats. Although it’s tempting to get your hands on some extra gold fish, take a long, hard look in the mirror and say to your reflection, "You're better than this." 

2. Shake your fist at the sky every time Tubbs visits your yard

 Tubbs is the game’s obese cat that will leech off all of your resources. After you buy the finest feast to attract rare cats into your yard, Tubbs will stroll through and consume everything. Tubbs is basically the neck-beard of "Neko Atsume", and like all neck-beards, he will continue eating Hot Pockets in your basement and playing World of Warcraft until eternity. Since there’s nothing you can do about Tubbs, just shake your fist at the sky.

3. Take photos of the cats butts

 The cats’ butts are just tiny x’s. Take pictures of their butts because they are cute. This won’t help you master the game, but it will lift your spirits.

4. Expand, expand, expand

Save up your gold fish and buy the yard expansion. All college kids want to backpack throughout Europe, but a nice alternative is just exploring your expanded "Neko Atsume" backyard while eating a baguette.

5. Remember to feed your cats

 You wouldn’t forget to feed a human child, so why would you neglect your "Neko Atsume" cats? Buy Frisky Bits, not Thrifty Bits. It’s slightly more expensive, but sometimes you have to spend money to make cats.


Avalon Zoppo

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